The unpalatable truth: May’s deal *is Brexit*

Here’s the thing: if you still want Brexit, you support May’s deal. If you don’t like her deal, you don’t support Brexit. It doesn’t matter in the slightest what fantasy Brexit exists in your own personal head. It’s not important whether you prefer a Norway-style, Singapore-style or Narnia-style Brexit, because such options are not on or near the table, in fact at this point there are no more negotiations (she’s lying to you about that) so there is no table; there’s no furniture in the room at all except a toilet, and in the bowl of that toilet is a particularly unpleasant turd, and if you voted for Brexit that is your turd, produced after very great strain, it’s true, but at least it’s finally out and we can all peer inside and behold what you’ve achieved: a messy, bloody, stinking turd. You know, probably the best thing to do at this point is for the whole thing to be flushed away and forgotten. Is that what you’d like? Or would you rather smash the whole sewage system to pieces so that from now on we will all live in the midst of our own effluence as if the whole process of human civilisation had been nothing but a bizzare hallucination? It’s an inviting proposition but I think, given the choice, I and many others would prefer not to.

Put another way: when May became Prime Minister she uttered the phrase ‘Brexit means Brexit’. A gnomic statement, as many commented, but now we know what she meant. She got to define Brexit. The fact that she is PM of a Government dedicated to implementing your decision means she is your Prime Minister, her Government is your Government, her negotiations are your negotiations and yes, her Brexit is your Brexit. So: if you don’t support May’s deal, you don’t support Brexit.

So here’s a modest proposal: we obviously can’t just leave it lying there, so let’s just flush it away for once and for all. Unless, that is, you’d prefer to scoop it out with your hands and find some of other way to dispose it of. Maybe you’d like to…eat it?

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