Care for a free f*cking newspaper?

Posted on Sep 4, 2006Jan 2, 2017 by Rich Will

Here are a few suggestions for possible responses for when one of them annoying fellas tries to force yet another free fucking newspaper on you with the words ‘But it’s free!!!!‘:

That’s because it’s worthless.

So are all the others (accompanied by filthy look).

So’s cancer.

So’s dogshit.

So’s tap water.

So are plastic bags from Asda.

So’s a kick in the teeth.

So’s South Africa (in theory anyway).

So’s Willy the fucking whale.

So was school milk.

So’s the Polish Express.

So are adverts on the Gumtree.

So’s this.

And also this.

So’s what pigeons eat.

And my own personal favourite (although I’m yet to try it out myself): So’s my choice NOT to take your piece of shit free newspaper, you overzealous purple-t-shirted fucking fuckwitted TWAT!!!