Lots of Corbynistas are demanding a new general election. What might that be like?

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(knock on door)

Hello?

Hi! Sorry to bother you. I’m sure you’ve heard there’s a general election coming up. I’m here to encourage you to vote for the Labour candidate. Which is me! Daniel Dongle, aspiring member of Parliament. Nice to meet you! Is that your dog??

It’s a…cat.

Ah! Ok. It looks a bit like…but we mustn’t essentialise! Now, I see you voted for us in 2017, much appreciated! Have you thought about how you might vote this time?

Well, it depends. What’s your position on Brexit?

We think austerity is completely unnec…

But where do you stand on Brexit?

I’m sure you’ll agree that the rise in homelessness is an absolute abom…

But do you still think the UK would be better off outside the EU?

Climate Change is the biggest emergency we have ever faced as a sp…

Should we remain in the Customs Union?

We wholeheartedly oppose the rise in xenophobia around the world in the l…

What alternative do you have to the Withdrawal Agreement?

Like AOC says, we need a Green N…

Is Labour prepared to whip its MPs to support a second referendum?

Trident is a total waste of m…

Isn’t it now pretty much incumbent on whoever’s in government to revoke Article 50?

Er…we believe in a Global Br…

My girlfriend’s from Poland. Will she be able to stay here after Brexit?

Rebuilding the NHS is…

What’s your position on the Irish border situation?

As Jeremy says, valuing the contribution immigrants make to British soc…

What’s Labour’s reaction to all the revelations about illegal practices by both leave campaigns?

Secure homes for..

Are you still in favour of Britain leaving the EU, even with no withdrawal agreement in place?

Err…(triumphantly) For the many, not the few!

OH, FUCK OFF!!!

(door slams)

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