Bonus points for spotting those who you might not have been inclined to think of as on the far-right but, you know, by their (fascist) friends shall ye know them. The winner gets a signed (by me) copy of this.

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# Weekend quiz: Can you name all the demagogues, climate liars, mafiosi and terrorists in this celebrity far-right jigsaw?

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Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself.

Bonus points for spotting those who you might not have been inclined to think of as on the far-right but, you know, by their (fascist) friends shall ye know them. The winner gets a signed (by me) copy of this.

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So Jordan, exciting news since our last session! You’ll have been on your first ever Grindr date! How did that go? … Oh dear, there’s some tissues there if you need them.

– (Fifty minutes of weeping) It, it just seemed like a perfectly timed token effort. He only stayed for one drink and never stopped looking at his phone. Him and his mates kept going into the toilet to take cocaine. I think his friends were laughing at me.

Oh dear! Well,at least you didn’t get a chance to give him your mother’s wedding ring, I…

– (more weeping)

Oh, Jordan, remember we discussed this? You should try and get it bac… blocked your number? Oh dear. Now Jordan, remember what we discussed last session? That you should think about dating men your own age? It might lead to a more sustainabl…

– I’M STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM! (Weeping) We got our photo taken together, look…

Hey, Isn’t that Russell Bra…

– Oh, you know him?

NO. Er, no, I thought he was one of my clients, but … did you say he was drinking and doing coke in the bogs? Never mind, forget I asked that. Can I see that photo again, please?

– Sure…

Hmmm, and er, (cough) did you wear those jeans on the date … I suppose you must’ve done …

– Yes, the lady in M&S said they suited me. Do you think they were too casual? Do you think I should have ironed a crease down the leg?

NO. Look Jordan, we’re coming to the end of our time in this session. If you still think these meetings are useful to you, you can … are you still paying by cheque? OK, leave a cheque with my secretary on your way out. And please think again about what we discussed, remember? About dating men your own age? OK. And one more thing: don’t wear those fucking trousers again.

(Jordan leaves, slamming the door behind him) Counselor mutters “dickhead”. Jordan can be heard shouting in the corridor “GOD, I HATE WOMEN!”.

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signed, YouTube.

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